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Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of
the country she was going to travel through. `It's something
very like learning geography,' thought Alice, as she stood on
tiptoe in hopes of being able to see a little further.
`Principal rivers--there ARE none. Principal mountains--I'm
on the only one, but I don't think it's got any name. Principal
towns--why, what ARE those creatures, making honey down there?
They can't be bees--nobody ever saw bees a mile off, you know--'
and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that
was bustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into
them, `just as if it was a regular bee,' thought Alice.
However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was
an elephant--as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite
took her breath away at first. `And what enormous flowers they
must be!' was her next idea. `Something like cottages with the
roofs taken off, and stalks put to them--and what quantities of
honey they must make! I think I'll go down and--no, I won't
JUST yet, ' she went on, checking herself just as she was
beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse
for turning shy so suddenly. `It'll never do to go down among
them without a good long branch to brush them away--and what
fun it'll be when they ask me how I like my walk. I shall say--
"Oh, I like it well enough--"' (here came the favourite little
toss of the head), `"only it was so dusty and hot, and the
elephants did tease so!"'
`I think I'll go down the other way,' she said after a pause:
`and perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do
so want to get into the Third Square!'
So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the
first of the six little brooks.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *
`Tickets, please!' said the Guard, putting his head in at the
window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they
were about the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill
the carriage.
`Now then! Show your ticket, child!' the Guard went on,
looking angrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said
together (`like the chorus of a song,' thought Alice), `Don't
keep him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a thousand
pounds a minute!'
`I'm afraid I haven't got one,' Alice said in a frightened tone:
`there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from.' And again
the chorus of voices went on. `There wasn't room for one where
she came from. The land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!'
`Don't make excuses,' said the Guard: `you should have bought
one from the engine-driver.' And once more the chorus of voices
went on with `The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke
alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff!'
Alice thought to herself, `Then there's no use in speaking.'
The voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to
her great surprise, they all THOUGHT in chorus (I hope you
understand what THINKING IN CHORUS means--for I must confess
that I don't), `Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a
thousand pounds a word!'
`I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I
shall!' thought Alice.
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a
telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an opera-
glass. At last he said, `You're travelling the wrong way,' and
shut up the window and went away.
`So young a child,' said the gentleman sitting opposite to her
(he was dressed in white paper), `ought to know which way she's
going, even if she doesn't know her own name!'
A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut
his eyes and said in a loud voice, `She ought to know her way to
the ticket-office, even if she doesn't know her alphabet!'
There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very
queer carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule
seemed to be that they should all speak in turn, HE went on with
`She'll have to go back from here as luggage!'
Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a
hoarse voice spoke next. `Change engines--' it said, and was
obliged to leave off.
`It sounds like a horse,' Alice thought to herself. And an
extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, `You might make a
joke on that--something about "horse" and "hoarse," you know.'
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, `She must be
labelled "Lass, with care," you know--'
And after that other voices went on (What a number of people
there are in the carriage!' thought Alice), saying, `She must go
by post, as she's got a head on her--' `She must be sent as a
message by the telegraph--' `She must draw the train herself
the rest of the way--' and so on.
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and
whispered in her ear, `Never mind what they all say, my dear, but
take a return-ticket every time the train stops.'
`Indeed I shan't!' Alice said rather impatiently. `I don't
belong to this railway journey at all--I was in a wood just now
--and I wish I could get back there.'
`You might make a joke on THAT,' said the little voice close to
her ear: `something about "you WOULD if you could," you know.'
`Don't tease so,' said Alice, looking about in vain to see
where the voice came from; `if you're so anxious to have a joke
made, why don't you make one yourself?'
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